The things they do

There are certain things that happen in this house that make me laugh and say to myself, ‘This would never happen in a house with no kids.’ So here goes…

You’ve know there’s a toddler in the house when…

Most of your conversations are with a toy lion.

You find coins in your bed because they were tired and needed a nap.

Discussions about bowel movements become commonplace.

No matter the preceding conversation, when asked, ‘What was the crab’s name?’ you immediately answer ‘Sebastian.’

You know the theme songs from at least eighteen different cartoon shows.

You never want to see a page of ‘Goodnight Moon’ ever again.

Party hats can be, and often are, worn on any day or any occasion.

Some of the most in-depth discussions you have are spoken into a toy phone.

A brown smear has an equal chance of being vegemite, chocolate, or poop.

Shoes must be checked for toys before being donned.

Song lyrics are flexible and often entirely made up.

There are certain words you habitually spell out, Dolly Parton style, to avoid being understood.


What toddler-specific things happen in your house?


One thought on “The things they do

  1. aNonyMous says:

    Ha ha, that’s hilarious!

    I would add:

    you had to learn the songs for each character in the kids show Balamory so you can sing them all repeatedly each night at your child’s insistence.


    You have greasy handprints all over all your clothes that won’t wash out.

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