Job or not??

Again and again I see people assert that being a stay at home mum is a lifestyle choice, not a job. It only leaves me wondering why it can’t be both. As I see it, most jobs, careers, and workplaces are chosen with a degree of lifestyle in mind. You wouldn’t take a job that was incompatible with your lifestyle, and you would be more likely to want to work in a place which holds similar values to yourself and, hopefully, a place where you can be yourself and enjoy being there. Is that not a lifestyle choice? I fail to see why we need to draw stark distinctions between things which in truth are similar, related, or intertwined. I chose to be a stay at home mum, and I like it. I feel no regret. But I also acknowledge that it is work, a job. Like any job, it has ups and downs, good and bad bits. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like work, and sometimes it does. Believe me, I didn’t want to be awake at 2am this morning, but that’s  part of the job and part of the lifestyle.
I also feel that claiming motherhood, or being a stay at home mum, is not a job somehow devalues what we do. “It’s only a lifestyle” belittles it and overlooks the effort we put in. It might be a lifestyle, but there’s no mansion or pool or eternal sunshine; instead there are midnight feeds, dirty nappies, and tantrums.

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3 thoughts on “Job or not??

  1. tattoomummy says:

    Definitely a job, and he hardest one I’ve had.
    It is so mentally, emotionally and physically draining.
    More-so than I ever expected it to be.

  2. It’s a job. Sometimes it’s the craziness and the mental strength you require that make it the most demanding. I am a stay at home mum at heart, although I know I will end up dabbling in part time pursuits, my calling is being a full time parent. People speak about it as if you’re some lady of leisure. Lazy. Unmotivated. Hiding from ‘real’ work. I really hate that. We make sacrifices to work at home as mums. We earn every single cent we don’t get for it haha.

  3. Joe Blogs says:

    I’m sure you could legitimately consider it a job and one that you choose to take, but what muddies the waters is the expectation that some people have of collecting government benefits as part of that job. I’m not saying mothers absolutely shouldn’t receive some kind of allowance (especially single mothers who don’t conceivably have any other source of income), but that doesn’t mean it’s precisely comparable to a job in which your services are paid for directly by the employer which benefits from them.

    By admitting that you chose to be a mum, I think you start to make yourself comparable to someone who decided to quit their job in order to collect unemployment benefits. The only difference is that as a mother, you’re doing something a little more noble for society – and possibly debatably too, since it could also be argued that the best thing for the earth is depopulation! – whereas a dole bludger has done it primarily for their own benefit. Anyway, the truth is no doubt in the wash somewhere, but I wanted to draw a distinction there.

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