Prince Philip Outraged At Demotion To Knight

I wish this were true!

'I'm not riding a bloody horse.' Prince Philip has expressed dissatisfaction at his demotion to knight. ‘I’m not riding a bloody horse again.’

Prince Philip has expressed profound disappointment at his recent demotion to a knight, advising that he intends to fight the appointment. “I’m taking the matter to Fair Work Australia,” he said. “I’m a prince goddammit, not a knight. Am I seriously supposed to ride a horse again?”

The Prince has been reeling from the news at Windsor Castle surrounded by his closest bottles of gin. “I’ve worked hard all my life attending party after party after party dealing with an eye-crossingly dull wife, stupid children, horny staff and patting poor people’s babies and what is the thanks I get for it?” he asked whilst putting up a sad-face on his Facebook page. “A mad colonialist telling me I have to be his chainmail bitch.”

Australian prime minister and leading satirist Tony Abbott announced yesterday that the Prince be appointed his knight. “He’s a…

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